Welcome to Part 2. If you haven’t already check out Part 1!
12. Let yourself feel your emotions
I think there is so much stigma on feeling shit about situations. Pretending you are okay when you're not is bad for your mental health and honestly just silly. If something happens that upsets you, let it upset you. Feel that emotion and allow yourself to experience it fully. Only then can you move forward. If you instanting repress what you feel it will continue impacting you months down the track, whether you realise it or not. Also crying releases ‘feel good’ chemicals like endorphins so it can actually make you feel better.
13. Closure is found from yourself not others
You can’t always get closure from others but you can always get it from yourself. Wanting closure from a situation or relationship ending is all in your head. You may want to say sorry, tell someone how much what they did hurt you or just speak to them one last time. The truth is, doing any of those things doesn’t change the past. Stop wishing for them to reach out. Find closure within yourself. Write it down, comfort yourself, and allow yourself to move on with your life.
14. You make mistakes get used to it
As much as I try to get everything right the first time, I always make silly mistakes. Sometimes experiencing things and making those stupid mistakes myself is the only way to learn. You don’t need to feel embarrassed because it's completely natural to do this. Own it.
15. 5 minutes of something good is better than none
This can be for a range of things but I like to use exercise as an example. If you don’t have time for an hour weights workout then that doesn’t mean you should just not workout at all. Use the time you have. Do a half an hour HITT session, go for a walk, do some push ups. Even if you have five minutes, that is
better than doing no exercise. It is more about building the habit of exercise then getting it perfect every time.
16. Not everyone will be your friend
Be weary of who you trust. Sometimes people are fake because they want something from you. I have a tendency to justify people's behaviour but the truth is some people just suck. Generally, the type of people who become your “best friend” far too quickly or have a new friend of the month (as I like to call it) are typically the ones who do not have the best intentions. Aside from that, everyone is different and you are not going to mesh with everybody. Don’t force friendships and remember, who you give your trust to should be selective.
17. Everyone is projecting, try not to take things personally
The way someone treats you is a reflection of how grown they are as a person. Someone can only love you on the same level they love themselves. Someone can only meet you on the same level they understand themselves. The way people behave is a mirror of their inner world and that inner world has a heap of undealt with trauma, emotions and issues. All I’m saying is that there is always a reason for the way someone behaves. It's not an excuse for poor behaviour, but consider that when someone treats you badly next.
18. Everything happens for a reason even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time
Some experiences seem so crappy that you would think “there is no way this could have happened for any valid reason”. But personally, some of the shittiest things that have happened in my life have turned out to be blessings in disguise. Maybe having your boyfriend cheat on you sucked, but did it reveal his true colours to stop you wasting your time long-term. Yes you failed that exam, but did it remind you that you actually do need to study or maybe you realised you don’t even enjoy that class at all. Took a wrong turn to work, but was it a prettier area that you hadn’t seen before? It could be a small inconvenience or something massive in your life, but anything bad that happens probably happened for a reason. All I mean is that you should try to remain open-minded to the possibility that what you thought you wanted was wrong and the world has a way of making sure you get something different (something better).
19. Relationships take effort whether its romantic or platonic
Personally, I think there is a bit of a misconception that when you meet ‘your people’, it will all be easy. This may be true in some ways, you may get along well, have similar interests or connect on a deeper level. However, it takes work to keep it going. You need to continuously put in effort for that person as you would expect they do for you.
20. Quality over quantity
This applies to most things. Friends, belongings, exercise, etc. I would much rather have one good friend, than 10 mediocre ones. Take time to implement quality habits, people and belongings into your life.
21. Be grateful for everything and everyone you care about
Gratefulness can be overlooked and forgotten. You five years ago may have dreamed of being where you are now. Take time out of your day to remember you have come a long way. I find it useful to create a trigger to initiate a gratitude routine. It could be when you have your morning coffee, as soon as you wake up or while you are in the shower. Personally I like to write it down while I’m doing journaling before bed. Additionally, make sure this gratefulness extends to the people you care about. If they do something that makes you happy, tell them. If you haven’t expressed your love for a while, give them some extra attention. I don’t mean to sound corny but life is short. Someone you love could literally die tomorrow in a car accident. So be grateful for what and who you have.
22. If you don’t make a choice, you’ve made your choice
Doing nothing about a life you don’t like is contributing to the problem. Do something about it. Sitting around on your phone, eating badly, getting no sleep, waiting for something to happen for you is never going to attract into your life what you desire. Basically everything you do in your life, whether consciously or unconsciously, is a choice and contributes to where your life trajectory is heading. Be aware and make choices that align with your ultimate goals and values.
Just a quick disclaimer, I'm not suggesting I follow these points to a tee all the time. I slip up, I make mistales (ironic considering point 14), and that is okay. You will have times when being 'positive' and presenting your best self will be hard. I just find these ideas have helped me the most in my life :)
Thank you, love Amy ♡
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