Coming from someone who has always cared about other people's opinions on my life, I know that trusting your own judgement is challenging. However, I personally believe that having the ability to trust yourself is one of the most important skills for getting what you want and being confident in life. Majority of people require the opinions of their peers in order to make decisions, seeking their validation before deciding themselves. But, does their opinion really matter? Not even the people closest to you can know the full extent of what you desire from life. So how could they make a decision on your behalf? I am not saying you shouldn’t seek guidance from others, especially from those you love. However, believing in yourself and choosing what makes you happy may go against the desires of those around you. Hence, having the ability to trust yourself in knowing what's best for you is so valuable. These are some mindset changes I adapted to build my self-trust. And believe me mine is also still a work in progress.
1. No one else can figure out what you want except yourself
You are the only person who truly knows what will fulfil your heart's desires.
You may say, “but what if I don’t know what I want at all?”. If you aren’t sure what you want, that is okay. You don’t need to know exactly how you want your life to go and everything you want to experience right at this second. However, you should have some incline into what makes you happy. Start by doing things that make you feel happy and get you into the “flow state”. This means you lose track of time whilst you are doing it. For example, when I am doing yoga I am completely focused on the movements and am surprised when I’m done to find that half an hour has passed. Honing in on these “flow state” activities will help you find what you want from life.
2. What makes you happy does not have to make sense to someone else
Have you ever watched someone do an activity that they enjoy but you dislike? For example, I dislike cooking with a passion and it amazes me that someone can find it enjoyable. They could spend hours baking, seasoning and experimenting with new flavours, whereas I would rather be the one eating it. However, it makes them happy so they continue to do it, my opinion is not important. So, some people probably feel this way about you. My friends watch me do yoga and think I’m crazy to stretch like that everyday. But If I am happy while doing it, does it matter if others find it silly? Basically, a portion of your peers will always not agree with things that make you happy. You should acknowledge that they don’t need to understand why you love something, that's for you to discover.
3. You are the most important person
There is only ever going to be one constant person in your reality and that is yourself. You have the most control over your life and you also have the most focus on it. No one else thinks about your life and its outcomes more than you do. So wouldn’t you know best? I recommend spending some time alone because when you don’t trust yourself, you might feel uncomfortable spending time looking inward and even try to keep busy all day to distract your mind. By spending some time alone you can discover yourself, and therefore build self-trust. Whether that's exercising, some meditation or even colouring in it doesn’t matter.
4. Making mistakes is all a part of learning and no one is perfect
A reason why your self-trust may be low is because in the past you have made bad decisions in important areas of your life. However, this is all a part of learning. Looking back on mistakes you have made, consider how these positively changed you as a person. Did missing your flight teach you to value punctuality? Did telling your friend something personal and then them telling everyone teach you to be careful with who you trust? If you never allow yourself to make mistakes you will never learn how to make decisions suitably. Additionally, most mistakes are short-term inconveniences. Whenever you are overthinking a situation or mistake you have made, just ask yourself will this matter in 5 minutes, 5 weeks or 5 months? If it doesn’t, then you are probably just doubting yourself for no reason
I hope these mindsets can help you build self-trust and aid you in going for what you truly want in life!
Thank you, love Amy ♡
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